UNDERSTANDING MY TRUE PURPOSE

What is my purpose in life? This question has been on my mind a lot since I quit my job last November. I left a career that no longer resonated with my values and decided to take a step back. Since then, I've battled financial insecurity, the shame of not having an income, and most of all, the feeling of not having a meaningful role within society. Cooking for my family, taking care of household chores, and caring for my dogs brought me some sense of purpose. As I learned to let go, I had moments of bliss, where I desired nothing but to experience oneness with the Creator. I also had moments where I felt like I wasn't the doer, enjoying the autopilot nature of life as I focused on my health and the small ways I could contribute to others. But today, as I finished week 4 of Meditation Mastery at 4D University, I asked the question “What is my purpose?” while I was in the theta state.

I realized that my quest for a purpose in serving others was merely my ego trying to satisfy itself. This revelation blew my mind. My ego was making me wonder what I was supposed to be. Was I going to be a writer? A teacher? A healer? A cook and a housekeeper? No, these were just shiny objects that distracted me from the real service, which was to offer my individual self to the Creator. This service is the inward path, where I shed layers of identity to allow the one infinite Creator to express itself. My ego or individual self distorts the expression of the infinite Creator, so the offering of self is about overcoming this distortion. By offering myself to the Creator, opportunities for service will evolve naturally. It is a devotion and a sacrifice, that allows me to be in tune with infinite intelligence and to be in service automatically. The realization of the self IS the greatest help that I can do for the world. The self is the one and only reality, and there are no others in the context of offering myself to the Creator.

So, I spent my weekend taking care of myself and my family, being present in every moment, making my entire day a meditation. I see that I no longer have a purpose to pursue. I felt grateful that I had already experienced becoming a “somebody” in my previous life, and that I now have no problem offering myself to the Creator, even if it means that I would be a “nobody.” With this realization, I felt a hard layer of myself being peeled away. What remained was vulnerable but without fear. Something may happen in the future, where I may use my skills to help people, but it is not my purpose to seek out how I can help. My service is to offer myself to the Creator, to keep working on myself, and to embrace any opportunities for service to others that come my way.